Greetings from
Ohio
50 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Maryland
30 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Northwest Territories
12 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Nebraska
20 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Ontario
94 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Maine
16 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Manitoba
28 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
New Jersey
56 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Wisconsin
52 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Kentucky
44 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
Greetings from
Minnesota
36 souvenirs for a place that has never once been called a destination.
$36 a shirt, USDFree shipping over $6030-day returns15% off two, 20% off three
Also openMaryland30Northwest Territories12Alaska22Nunavut6North Dakota20Quebec60Maine16Saskatchewan28Utah16Nova Scotia28New York54Alabama50Missouri46Oklahoma38Mississippi32
Type your town. We probably have it.
2,150 souvenirs across sixty-three regions, and none of them are for anywhere famous. If yours is not on the rack yet, the box will say so and offer to put it on the list.
Your rack: Ohio
All 50 →
Browse by region
Full directory →Canada
13 open · see all →United States
50 open · see all →Where we are deepest
The full directory →No bestseller list, because we are not going to invent one. This is simply where the most towns have been drawn so far.
Now open
See all →
Four prints, one rack each
Everything we make →Every town is drawn four ways. Pick the one that sounds like how you would describe the place out loud.
The ink, up close
What it is printed on →Heavyweight 6.1 oz cotton, garment-dyed, so the fade is in the fabric rather than printed on top of it. This is what that looks like from six inches away.
Recently insulted
All new arrivals →The latest towns to be taken as seriously as they always should have been.
What happens after you order
Shipping & returns →Find your town
Sixty-three regions, every one of them open. Search it, or browse the directory until something you have driven through appears.
We print it after you order
On a Comfort Colors 1717 — 6.1 oz, garment-dyed, so the fade is in the fabric. Five to ten business days before it moves, because nothing is sitting in a warehouse waiting to be a landfill problem.
It arrives with paperwork
A Certificate of Mediocre Authenticity on card stock, confirming your town is — to the best of our knowledge — a place. Distinction: none on record.
Nobody has ever bought their father a shirt from Trail before.
The best souvenir is not for the person who went. It is for the person who left — who grew up on that highway, who still says the name with a certain defensiveness, and who has never once seen it printed on anything.
Find the town they are from, not the town they live in. That is the whole trick, and it works every time.
- Arrives with a certificateCard stock, signed, formally attesting that their hometown is a place. It reads like a joke and hangs like a diploma.
- Unisex, S–3XL, true to sizeThe one measurement you have to guess is the one most forgiving to guess wrong. Exchanges are thirty days, no interrogation.
- Two shirts save 15%Which is convenient, because you are going to want the one from your own town too.
Postcards from nowhere
Read them all →Hawaii gets the full treatment. Sunset script, a state flower, four fonts and a hibiscus. Meanwhile a town of nine thousand people with a working mill, one good diner and a hockey rink named after somebody’s father gets nothing — not a magnet, not a spoon, not a shirt.
We could not find a reason for that. So we print the overlooked places with the exact reverence a gift shop in Maui would use, and we do not wink while we do it. The joke, if there is one, is that there was never anything funny about it.
A Certificate of Mediocre Authenticity.
A formal document, printed on card stock, certifying that your town is — to the best of our knowledge — a place. Distinction: none on record. Signed anyway.
What it saysIt fits like a shirt you already own.
Unisex sizing, cut true, S through 3XL. The cotton relaxes about half a size as it breaks in, which is the only surprise in the garment and a pleasant one. If you are between sizes, size down and wait a week.
| Size | S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Chest | 20″ | 22″ | 24″ | 26″ | 28″ | 30″ |
| Length | 28″ | 29″ | 30″ | 31″ | 32.5″ | 33.5″ |
Collect more, pay less
Mix and match any towns. Applies automatically at checkout — no code, no ceremony.
Middling praise
Placeholder copy · real ones go here when they arriveIt’s fine.
Greg · Toledo, OHArrived. Fits.
Dana · Rockford, ILMy wife said it was “a shirt”.
Bill · Gary, INSofter than expected. Not sure that’s a compliment.
Marisa · Pittsburgh, PANobody has commented on it once.
Ken · Detroit, MI
We do not invent reviews. When real ones exist they will appear here, exactly as written, including the unenthusiastic ones — especially those.
Every order, every time
The full policy →Thirty-day returns
No interrogation, no restocking fee, no form asking you to rate your disappointment out of five. Size exchanges work the same way.
Free shipping over $60 USD
In Canada and the United States, which is two shirts and change — and two shirts is where the discount starts anyway. Everywhere else ships from $10.
15% off two, 20% off three
Applied automatically at checkout. Mix any towns you like. There is no code to hunt for and no newsletter to join first.
The certificate, always
Card stock, signed, in every order. It certifies almost nothing and it does so formally.
Before you ask
All questions →How long does shipping take? Honestly?
Longer than you would like, and we are sorry about that. Every shirt is printed after you order it, so allow 5–10 business days before it moves, then transit on top. Free over $60 in Canada and the US, which does not make the wait shorter but does make it cheaper. Elsewhere allow 13–35 days for transit.
What if I do not like it?
Thirty days, no interrogation, no restocking fee. Send it back in wearable condition and we refund it. Size exchanges work the same way.
How do the sizes run?
Unisex, true to size, S–3XL. The cotton relaxes about half a size as it breaks in. Full measurements and a find-my-size flow are on the Size & Fit Guide.
What shirt do you print on?
The Comfort Colors 1717: heavyweight 6.1 oz, 100% ring-spun cotton, garment-dyed so the faded look is in the fabric, not printed on. We do not substitute lighter blanks.
Can I wear a town I have never been to?
Yes. A souvenir commemorates a place, not your attendance record. Nobody interrogates a person in a NASA shirt about their spacewalks.
- 2,150
- Souvenirs in print
- 63
- Regions, all open
- 4
- Ways to say a town
- 0
- Famous places